I'm an Introvert working in an Extrovert's world. If you're an introvert, like me, you get your energy from being alone, while extroverts get their energy from being around people. However, when we are around people our energy gets drained and we simply become exhausted. This can be a big problem when you are working in an office because you're surrounded by people for 9 hours a day!
I work in an office that has a very open floor plan. No private cubicle means that there's little to no privacy. No one has an office (unless you're a VP or up) so it's a very social workplace. Don't get me wrong, I love that aspect of it. I would much rather know the people I'm working with on a deeper level that just casually say hi/bye and not talk to anyone for the rest of the day or try to make small talk with them...eek! I love the people I work with and I really enjoy getting to know them! There are times though, when I come home feeling drained after a certain amount of interaction. It's not a good feeling.
"The problem with being introverted is that there's no polite way of saying "I love you but I'm tired of being with you right now"
The other problem is that being an introvert affects how your co-workers will perceive you. For example, where I work, they brought in about 50 fresh-out-of-college new hires at the same time, so we were like a "class". We spent a week together in training and then were divided into our designated roles. Throughout the following weeks a huge Group Me chat had sprung up and large groups of people were eating lunch together, sitting together during the day and meeting up after work, even on the weekends. In the beginning I tried to keep up with it all. I wanted to get to know everyone and I wanted to make friends, but it was just too much for me to handle. I would come home from work dead tired and mentally exhausted. I decided to start eating lunch at my desk a few times a week and not do as many social activities with everyone. I started pulling back a little bit, but people noticed. I would run into people in the cafeteria or the bathroom and they would say "we haven't seen you in forever, where have you been?", I would say I had a lot of work to do and just didn't have the time (which was not a lie, I'm actually here to do work lol). I realized that maybe I was pulling back a little too much, so I knew I had to make some changes - again.
when you're Ron Swanson but all your coworkers gotta be Jean-Ralphio pic.twitter.com/CDJzUxItqN— Bustle (@bustle) October 7, 2015
At this point, I've established a good, friendly relationship with my coworkers, while still maintaining a level of professionalism, but it wasn't easy to get to this point. It took a while to figure out just the right balance, but it is possible to stick to your introverting ways in a social setting without being labeled shy, quite, rude or stuck up. I went through hard moments where I felt different from everyone else. Why can they spend so much time with each other and I can't? I've come to terms with it now, and try to do whatever I can to cultivate relationships and be seen as a kind, fun and hard working person. I know it's a real struggle for a lot of people since most people will tell you the ways to get ahead in your career are to speak up, promote yourself, network - and that's not what introverts like to hear at all! But these things are important - so I've laid out some tips I used that really helped me figure out how to do that while maintaining some of my energy at the same time.
Make Time For Yourself - Take periodic breaks. When I need a moment to myself I go to the bathroom or go outside and just sit for a few minutes. Every so often I'll even go out to my car and listen to some music for a bit. Then, when I come back, I feel so much lighter and my mind has been cleared. If you need to go to the coffee shop down the road, do it. If you need to take yourself out to lunch, do it. Find ways to give yourself those moments by yourself to re-energize and refresh.
It's Ok To Say No - This is a hard one. I struggled with saying no for a long, long time. Especially since I was in a new situation and trying to form meaningful relationships with my coworkers, I would go back and forth with myself about what I should or shouldn't say "no" to. Eventually I realized that I couldn't do everything - it just wasn't possible. While some could keep up, I just couldn't. I realized that my mental health and physical health was at stake if I kept going the way I was going (I know I sound like a hard core partier on the verge of a Justin Bieber-esque break down), so I started saying no. Not to everything, but to things that I just knew I couldn't, or didn't want to, do. It's ok. It's your life, live it how you want.
Have One Good Social Interaction A Day - I think this is so important. In order to form bonds with your coworkers they need to know you care about them! Check in with them once a day, or invite one to have lunch/coffee. DO SOMETHING. But notice I said "good" interaction. Small talk won't cut it here. As introverts we're so good at getting to know people on a deeper level, those are the kind of relationships we enjoy! Ask them more meaningful questions than "what's up with this weather today am I right?" This will also help a lot with the whole them not thinking you're shy or stuck up thing!
One of the hardest things I've had to come to terms with is that being an introvert is far from a disadvantage. In fact, most researchers say that introversion is a natural leadership trait because we are generally more diligent, creative and focused. So while it may be difficult to work in a social space, we already have the tools and abilities we need to succeed. I'm not saying that we shouldn't step out of our comfort zones every once in a while, in fact, it's one of the most important things we can do for ourselves as people, but we should be able to dictate our own lives and figure out how to make whatever situation we're in work to our advantage.
